The heart of life

Well it was a day very similar to this day in August of 2001, my first venture into exploring my creative side outside of the corporate box. You wouldn't think it would be that daunting, but you must remember my psyche has been overloaded with rules.

And so it started out as simply applying pure color, water color to paper, manipulating the pools of color and waiting patiently for it to dry. Or in my case, impatiently. After the drying had happened and looking at what was there I was more than a little disappointed. It seemed like a good idea at the time but letting go is not as easy as you first think. To truly let go means to detach from any expectations at all. So I hung up my paper of color. Good thing I'm not afraid of color and believe me there are some that are. The more color the better I think. Why surround yourself with gray, white, beige, colors brightens your life and your mood. The thing is as I kept those papers up there it was like a dance happening as my eye would always be drawn to the color. Like a conversation.......(cue in music and think, hmmmm....... conversations with 'God'). This my first foray into letting it go. The expectation of what was on the paper.

So here it is let me share my first exploration, entitled Marketplace I. Now let me tell you, or should I say remind you of what was taking place in 2001. 9/11, yup this exploration started just before what I would consider to be the first real catastrophe I would come to witness in my life, even if only through the magic of media. Now most would consider my reaction that day to be a bit out of the ordinary, while sitting at my desk at work my coworker behind me turned up his radio. The radio announcer relaying the news that a plane had hit one of the towers of the World Trade Center in New York. Now who in there right mind as a pilot would hit a Tower, must have been some novice pilot learning so it must have been a small plane, right? Stupid pilot error. Than the announcer kept on talking saying they were still getting updates and the tone of voice changed most likely in reaction to the horror of the reality that we would all come to know. Whoooooaaaa!!!!! another plane hit the next tower, ok, now this is starting to dawn on me that maybe this isn't a coincidence. Out of nowhere a television appears in the office and we come face to face to what was happening. No more feeble imagining of stupid pilot error, more like reality of terror. But even in those moments, in those images nothing could ever tell us what was really going on. Thoughts automatically going to loved in or around the area, were they alright? The people, thousands of people, why hell here I was in a much smaller tower, millions of scenarios, the desperation, the split second decisions that would turn the fate of survival. So, what the heck does this have to do with my paintings you ask!

Here it is, my first paintings all came out of a place of community, which in the face of tragedy, any tragedy, no matter where in this world we must embrace wholeheartedly.

This painting that you see here entitled the 'marketplace I' is more than a gathering of indistinct figures and faces but that of community. It doesn't take much to be a community or to provide a place where one does not feel alone with the load that they must carry.

This is the dawn of my exploration into my paintings and even in it's abstract form they all carry messages. The beginning or should I say a glimpse into the experience of my soul.

Jump in and explore with me.

Is a blade of grass really green?

Ok, so this is all new to me this blogger thing, and I've even recommended to other people to do it. I do blog in Myspace but find their web apps very challenging for me being on a Mac. But regardless of that my blogs here will all be about my art, and creativity in general. And by this I might link you to someone else's blog, because of their creativity. 

So first off, the name of this blog and my web space is First Nature Media - and here is the reason for the name. Humans being first and foremost are creative beings, although we are conditioned and taught to be otherwise, if truth be told and we were to follow our instincts than humans really would not, could not do anything but create. It is what drives us, it is what keeps us up at night, it is our way to express who we are, right here right now.

It is through school that we are being trained to think a certain way. To view things in a specific way - but I ask you, do you think people like DaVinci or Einstein could hack being told to think a certain way? No way, and both had difficulties with schooling, considered somewhat eccentric, maybe a little bit insane, social misfits and both geniuses.  

What can I say I took to my schooling as a child quite harmoniously, looking for the approval of elders. I mean after all we are living in their world, or at least the one they create for us. A part of me always unsatisfied and melancholy. Approval never really being enough, where was my inner genius. 

I was taught well by linear thinkers, taught to appreciate realism. Now realism and art/creativity really don't mix, because realistically to become an artist is like branding yourself to be an outsider, the eccentric, the slightly insane person who just won't toe the line and follow the masses of people who have given in. So what was my most realistic move. To become a Graphic Designer - a marketer. 

Now here it is, the best of both worlds right. Think again. If I had a dollar for every time someone has said to me "ooooo you must love your job you get to be so creative?" I would be filthy rich. The fact is clients just aren't risk takers. 'I have a vision follow me if you want to get paid' - and so the dance begins. Now I'm not saying all clients are like that. In fact the best kind of clients for me are the ones that really just let me do my thing and somewhere in between there is creation. 

Plus I have no desire to make something look oddly out of place, no the goal to a designer is to find a creative way to communicate the client's message. In other words to push the envelope and think outside the box, but not so far as to alienate your audience.

I could go on about my experience in the corporate world, but I won't this is about art. However the above description would help in explaining my state of mind or the absolute desire to let anything linear go, leaving me feeling a somewhat uncomfortable being. Now realistic art is fine, it has had it's place in history documenting events before there was photography and video or any other type of recording method. Now a days you can take your pick or even pick all of them. 

So in all this discovery of me and in order to let go, my art has become an experimentation in the abstract. A conquest and now I'm glad to say victory into all things not necessarily realistic and of all things huge exploration into my spirit.

Let the fun begin...............